Annoyed by telemarketers?
Here’s my tip: Beat them with their own weapons.
Possible conversation #1: The short one.
TM: Hello! My name is Jeff. Are you the decisionmaker for this telephone line?
A: Yes. And I made the decision you suck! Bye!
-clic-
Possible conversation #2.The foreigner.
TM:Hello Mr....
A:Njeschittwskij
TM: Mr Njeschiscch...
A:Njeschittwskij
TM:Yes... are you the decisionmaker for this telephone line?
A:Radjni Walvolic schoschnize?
TM:Excuse me I cannot understand you. Could you repeat this please?
A:Radjni Walvolic schoschnize! Schema Kaschjetownok?
TM:Uh sorry... you... speak english?.....
A:Njet tak! Karaschoff! Muschnje amerikanske tagataroff schenitzky raseminikoc
coma sempeski dummkopf ...
TM:I...
A:KATALANOV!KATALANOV! BORSCHTSCH!!! SUSMANSKI LABOTAROV
KINESTIKI EPILEPTIKI! EXEMPTKI! KARASCHOFF!
TM:..... -clic-
Possible conversation #3.Annoy back!
TM:Hello! This is Jeff from Ripoff International. Are you the decision maker for this
telephone line?
A:Hello! This is Wilma Butterfoot! Could you please talk a little bit slower? I couldn’t
understand you!
TM:I said:Are you the decision maker for this telephone line?
A:.... (breathing sounds)
TM:Hello?
A:Decision Baker? I bake cookies for christmas for my niece, she lives in Harrisburg,
since she married, that must ... was in 1977, after she left that guy that was only
going for her money. Do you have new recipes?
TM:Mrs Buterfoot, I said decision maker. I mean do you make the decisions about this
telephone line?
A:I think his name was Ronald....
TM:Excuse me?
A:Ronald. Ronald Smithson. The guy who was after my daughters money....
TM:Oh... I see, I think it’s good that she got rid...
A:LITTLESMITH!
TM:....?
A:LITTLESMITH, not Smithson! I had the name on my tongue. God, that’s been 20 years now. I
can’t believe how fast time passes....
TM:Yes that’s true. Talking of time, I have a great offer for you!
A:An offer? For me?
TM:YES!!! It’s the new longdistance calling card from Ameritrash. It enables you too call your
own number from everywhere in the United States for only 48 cents per minute!
A:Whooo calls me?
TM:You can call your number at any time! You have an answering machine?
A:We don’t have machines here. This is Wilma Butterfoot. The aluminium factory is 2 blocks
down on Main Street.
TM:...Aluminium factory?...
A:YES! THEY have the machines!
TM:No, I meant....
A:Biiig ones!
TM:Yes sure. I see. But what I really meant was your telephone...
A:Telephone?
TM:Yessssss your telephone!
A:We don’t have a telephone!
-clic-
