Life is great! Money lies on the streets everywhere. I can hardly remember what I could have done to earn my living before there was the internet.
But...now there is the internet, and I can sit relaxed and cozy in my home, look at the screen, send out a few letters or set up my incredible online store, of course on a free webpage provided by "spray", and while I sit here, the money grows and grows and grows. Thanks to those nice people that always send me their friendly emails and offering their insights about how to make a million in a month.
Great, huh?
But serious... have you never wasted your time on thinking about how any of these things work...and maybe... shouldn't it be worth a try?
Yes...maybe one of these friendly geeks, that send their "never unsolicited direct mails to a chosen few in
agreement with the US postal rules about bulk email" has really found THE great idea to get wealthy without working. I don't doubt there is one in a million where this is the case. Unfortunately I might have to try the other 999.999 ideas first, and if I only send in the requested 10 bucks to any of them, I have payed 9.999.990 US$ to make my first own million on the web. A great concept. I have to find out first, where I get the 9.999.990 for the start though.
But here is the solution to this too! From all the brainless business ideas and MLM schemes that crossed my way so far, here is the best of all, I received it by mail yesterday! Thank you thank you! This is unbeatable. (unfortunately I had to find out that the reply mail that I sent to this brilliant spirit could not be delivered. The postmaster could not find the email address. Surely a mistake by those damn mailing systems....). Anyway: Here it is in full and unabridged. The absolute perfect way to wealth on the web:
THE INCREDIBLE SELF LIQUIDATING LOAN!!! ( I added some comments into the letter, they are in capitals, so that you can tell the difference)
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Sender: getitnow@freeyellow.com
TOO BAD GETITNOW COULD NOT GET MY RESPONSE NOW
X-Info:See End Of Email For FREE Software And Remove Information
I LOVE FREE THINGS...GETITNOW! I ALSO LOVE TO SEND REMOVE ANSWERS TO NOT EXISTING ADDRESSES!
You qualify for a Self Liquidating Loan!
THATS GREAT!!! ON MY BANK ACCOUNT I DO NOT QUALIFY FOR 100 BUCKS
We are offering you money -- a self liquidating loan -- and what do you do? You doubt!ME?NEVER! Which is natural as you may have been cheated or fooled by other programs, but this program is different.
OF COURSE...I DID NOT EXPECT ANYTHING ELSE
I only ask for $10 to cover the cost of copying and Air Mailing the application to you. Other than that I get no commission. SEEMS LIKE HIS COPY SHOP IS A BIT EXPENSIVE. -BUT THAT'S EUROPE
What risk have you encountered? Only $10 to get a self-liquidating loan!
Understand how it works:
The organization says it gives you a $50,000 loan, but you actually receive $25,000, as the other $25,000 is used in high interest business and arbitrage deals. At the end term of the loan, this $25,000 will have earned another $25,000, which liquidates the loan. YOU do NOT have to sign anything which would compromise you to pay any amount back. YOU have nothing to pay back!! FUNTASTIC! FINALLY I FOUND WHAT I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR SO LONG.MONEY FOR NOTHING! AND I ADMIRE THE GOOD KNOWLEDGE OF MANKIND, THAT THIS ORGANISATION HAS. PICKING ME OUT OF ALL THE POSSIBLE PEOPLE...THEY MUST HAVE RECOGNIZED IMMEDIATELY THAT I AM A HONEST AND TRUSTWORTHY PERSON...
There are overseas-corporations which have so much cash at hand,(LUCKY COMPANIES) that they needed to develop new business strategies. They understand that it does them little good to sell their products internationally, when consumers have increasingly higher debts and less available cash. For this reason they use part of their cash overflow and issue self-liquidating loans, providing a global financial service. (THIS IS VERY NICE. BENEFACTORS OF MANKIND. I HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES AND GET DOWN ON MY HUMBLE KNEES ADMIRING THIS GENEROSITY!)
You Have Been Approved for a $25,000 line of credit! (THANK YOU, HONESTLY. I FEEL SO HONOURED)
In approximately 8 to 12 weeks from the start of the process you will be receiving an unsecured line of credit through a major bank credit card! The program includes a $5,000 Offshore Bank Card plus a Self-Liquidating Loan.
A Self-Liquidating Loan is a financial agreement in which the elements of arbitrage, compensating balance, and advanced-point funding are utilized. To explain each of these three topics would take pages, (PROBABLY...MAYBE YEARS AND BOOKS) but in summation it means, money that has been borrowed never has to be repaid.( I WOULDN'T ANYWAY...ERRM),.The lender deducts the compensating balance from the proceeds of the loan, and at the end of the term the loan is rolled over by those funds withheld when the loan was first issued. This way you never have to worry about making loan payments; it is truly UNIQUE ! YES IT IS UNIQUE! AND THANKS TO THE GRACEFULNESS OF THE LENDERS THEY DO NOT JUST INVEST THEIR MONEY THEMSELVES, THEY GIVE IT TO ME! I LOVE YOU!
If you are over 18 years of age, you automatically qualify for such a loan. There are no hidden traps,(WHO WOULD EVER DARE TO EXPECT TRAPS?) and all you have to do is fill in and mail a one-page application. Then wait 8 to 12 weeks for the process to complete and the money will be in your hands!(MY GRANDMA JUST SAID:YES... IT TAKES 8 WEEKS FOR HIM TO COLLECT THE 10 DOLLAR NOTES HE GETS SEND, AND THEN ANOTHER 4 WEEKS TO PACK HIS BAGS AND FLEE TO HIS ORGANISATION IN OVERSEAS, WITH HIS SUITCASE FULL OF MONEY... ---THOSE UNBELIEVERS... I KNOW BETTER THAN SHE DOES)
.
To receive your application, please send a $10 money-order (personal or business checks will be not accepted.),THATS A BIT SAD...SO I CAN NOT FOLLOW UP IF THE MONEY HAS BEEN RECEIVED BY THE RIGHT PERSON, MY BENEFACTOR I MEAN... or if you send cash be sure that it is wrapped in aluminum foil and newspaper, and in a well sealed envelope. SEE..HE'S CLEVER...HE THINKS OF EVERYTHING AND DOES NOT TRUST HIS MAILMAN. I KNEW HE WAS CLEVER, REALLY....
Mail to:
AV Enterprises #364
5250 Simpson Ferry Road
Mechanicsburg, Pa 17055
USA (LAND OF THE LIMITLESS POSSIBILITIES)
HEY FOLKS...HERE'S YOUR CHANCE. SEND THEM A NICE MAIL AND GET RICH WITH ME!
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* Here's how to get a free copy of the email-shark bulk emailer: *
* First try one of the download addresses below , if the sites are *
* down tel. +1 212 2082904 for an alternative download website! *
WONDER WHY THESE SITES COULD BE DOWN?
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* Don't Want Commercial Email ? - Visit Removeme Org For Advice *
I WAS ALWAYS GLAD THAT I JUST HAVE TO SPEND MY TIME ON VISITING WEBSITES TO GET RID OF THE BULL***T, THATS BEING SENT TO ME WITHOUT BEING DEMANDED! THIS IS SOOO EASY!
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Email shark download sites:
None Available Call +1 212 2082904
(Answering Machine)
NONE AVAILABLE? THATS REALLY SAD. WHO WOULD HAVE EXPECTED THIS?
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Well folks, that had the luck to read these lines, what are you waiting for? Email shark sounds very reassuring. I wonder what AV Enterprises stands for. Allied Vicars? Alien Ventroliquism? Attacking Vipers? I will probably never find out. But... if you find a similar great idea to get rich through the internet, please send it in to me, and I will be pleased to publish it here.
Or better: Everybody who reads this message, just send me in 10 Cents as a sign of appreciation. Maybe I get rich this way. You do not even need to wrap it in silverfoil!Here some serious ads:
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